I wanna try something, okay? Think about the last genuine compliment somebody gave you, okay? Not, "Nice shirt," although I'll take that. I mean something real, something about who you are, like, "You're a good dad," or, "I trust you," or, "You handled that really well," or, "You have a gift for this. I'm proud of you. You made a difference." Can you remember one? Here's what's interesting. Some of us can remember encouragement we received 10, 20, even 30 years ago. We remember where we were, who said it, sometimes even exactly how they said it. Which makes me wonder, if words of encouragement can stay with us for decades, why are we so stingy with them? We notice good things about people all the time. We just don't always say them. We think, "Well, they already know," or, "I don't want it to sound weird." Or maybe we plan to tell them later. But encouragement that stays inside your head doesn't encourage anybody. And maybe one of the simplest ways you can pass the flame is learning to say the good thing out loud, and that's what I wanna talk to you about today Welcome to Pilot Light. I am your host, Josh, and this season we're talking about what happens when the work we're doing inside ourselves starts affecting the people around us. That's what passing the flame really means. Not fixing everybody, not becoming everybody's motivational speaker. Please don't do that. Nobody wants to walk into the break room at 7:30 in the morning and hear, "Good morning, champion. Today's your day." Sometimes we just need coffee, okay? But we do have opportunities every single day to put courage into another person, and that's really what encouragement is. So wherever you're listening from, whether you're heading to work or you're sitting in the drive-through trying to decide whether saying, "You too," after someone tells you to enjoy your meal means you need to move to another state, or you're standing in your garage wondering why you own 14 screwdrivers but can't find the one you actually need, or you're staring at a load of laundry you've started in the dryer because apparently that's easier than folding it, oh, I'm glad you're here. Let's light the pilot light I've always been fascinated by how certain words stay with us. There are things people have said to me throughout my life that I have never forgotten. Some were big, some were not. But they arrived at exactly the right moment. Someone believed in me. Someone saw something in me. Someone told me I was capable of something I wasn't completely convinced I could do yet. And here's what I noticed. Their words didn't necessarily give me an ability I didn't already possess. They gave me permission to believe it might actually be there. That's different. Sometimes somebody else sees something in us before we're ready even to see it in ourselves. And when they name it, something changes. You know, maybe you've experienced that. Maybe it was a teacher who told you, "Hey, you're a really good writer," or a coach told you that you were a leader, or a boss trusted you with something important, or a friend told you that you were stronger than you thought, and suddenly you started seeing yourself completely different little personal story here. When I started the, my new job at, the juvenile court, I wasn't sure how this was all gonna go. This is totally new to me. Like I said in previous episodes, I was 18 years at the dental office. And so here I am starting a new job in a new place that I had no idea, other than, you know, I was gonna be doing numbers and managing and that type of thing, and there's some crossover things, but, you know, I'm in a place that's, completely different than dental. And the person that I was taking over for had been there forever, and had, had won a lifetime achievement award from the county, and so, was highly respected and, and was influential and just an amazing person. And, and I remember starting out and being, you know, kind of intimidated by her, to be honest. But one of the best gifts that she gave me, and her name is Susan, was the fact that she was my biggest cheerleader as I started out there. She gave me some of the nicest words I could even ask for during that time, and it honestly gave fuel to me growing and learning and becoming, uh, the person I needed to be that, for that position. Because my whole goal was to, have her pass the baton on to me, that I could carry what she had carried for so many years. And she truly was gifted in giving out compliments and encouraging me, and, and I'm... I mean, she made me feel like I was smart, even though I had no clue what I was doing. But Susan was a true gem, and I appreciate her and, and, uh, if she's listening to this, I want her to understand how much I do appreciate all of her work and, and the, the foundation that she laid there and the encouragement that she gave me as I started off in that new job and, and really started in a, in a brand-new thing, uh, that sometimes in your midlife is, can be a little bit of a challenge. But, you know, going back to that, I've been thinking about the word encouragement. You know, right in the middle of it, what's the word in there? That's right, courage. To encourage someone is literally to put courage into them. And I remember when Susan would give me those moments where we just had these great, wonderful talks, and she would encourage me, that's exactly what it did. It gave me courage to do the job, to feel like I'm not gonna fail at this, that I'm actually going to be able to contribute and, and do a good job at this. And it's such a- an amazing thing. So to encourage someone literally is to put courage into them. I love that because encouragement isn't flattery. Flattery says something nice because I want something from you. Encouragement says something true because I see something in you, and that's a big difference. Real encouragement doesn't invent qualities people don't possess. It notices what's already there, and it gives language to it. Sometimes people don't need us to solve their problem, okay? They need enough courage to take the next step, and our words can help provide that. So here's our big idea for today. If you see something good in someone, don't make them guess. Tell them, okay? Um, hold on. Let me... I'm gonna stand up on my desk here. Let me, let me figure this out. Get my megaphone so that you fully understand this, okay? Tell them. If you see something good in someone, don't make them guess. Please tell them. Encourage them today. Tell them. We have this strange tendency to communicate criticism immediately, and then appreciation eventually, right? Oh, just go look at social media. We are so good at criticism, it's not even funny, right? We're able to just, like, immediately go, "Oh, man, that's messed up, and I'm gonna tell you everything about it that is messed up." So in fact, there's people that I'm pretty sure get paid online just to criticize. But what if we look at it differently? We find these opportunities to appreciate people and to give them encouragement, right? But unfortunately, appreciation is down the, down the road, and it's down the stream. You know, something goes wrong, we'll talk about that today. Something goes right, well, we as-assume that they know. Imagine reversing that. Imagine becoming someone who's quick to recognize what's good, quick to say thank you, quick to acknowledge effort, quick to notice growth, quick to tell somebody, "I see what you're doing, and it matters." That kind of person changes environments So here's my first point today, be specific. There is nothing wrong with saying good job, But specific encouragement is much more powerful. Instead of, "You're a great employee," try, "You know what? I've noticed how patient you were with that person even though the situation was frustrating. That says a lot about your character." Or instead of, "Hey, you're a good mom," try, "You know what? I see how much you, how much thought you put into making sure your kids feel known. They're gonna remember that." Or instead of, "Hey, you're a great friend," try, "You consistently show up when people need you. I don't know if anyone tells you that enough, but it's one of the things I admire most about you." Specificity tells someone, "I'm not just being nice, I actually see you," and being seen is powerful. So here's my second point, don't wait for perfection to encourage progress. Sometimes we withhold encouragement because somebody isn't there yet. You know, maybe they're improving, but they're still struggling, or they're growing, but they're still making mistakes, or they're, they're actually trying, but they're not succeeding consistently. That's exactly when encouragement matters. Imagine teaching a child to ride a bicycle. They make it 15 feet before falling over. You don't walk over and say, "Well, technically you failed." At least I hope you don't. You say, "Did you see that? You made it 15 feet." We're really good with that with kids, but for some reason with adults we totally throw that out the window. The reason why we do that to, tell that to the kids, because we want them to try again. Adults aren't any different. We still need people who notice progress, not because standards don't matter, okay, but because growth deserves recognition. Sometimes encouragement is the fuel that helps someone keep going long enough to become who they're capable of becoming. So here's our third point today, say it now. There is something I want us to stop doing, thinking good things about people and saving them for later. If you are proud of your kid, you tell them. If you appreciate your spouse, you tell them. If your coworker makes your job easier, tell them. If somebody's faith inspires you, tell them. If a friend has been there for you, tell them. If somebody is doing something difficult really well, tell them. We say beautiful things about people at retirement parties, going away parties, funerals. Why? Why do we wait for transitions or endings to say what was true all along? Give people their flowers while they can still smell them. Let people hear what you'd say about them if they weren't standing in the room. Whoo. Okay, I hope you got my point there and my little fire behind that. Because we hold off on encouragement, and we are missing it with people. People want... I don't know about you. How about, okay, let me ask you. I'm, I'm being direct towards you, you the listener, the person behind the radio, the person in the car, the person in the house, the person in front of their fridge, wherever you're at right now. Do you like encouragement? Nod your head. Okay, I'm seeing everybody nod their heads, right? So if we like encouragement, then why don't we give encouragement to other people? Why? Do you like criticism? And everyone's shaking their head no, "I don't like to be criticized." Okay. Then why are we so critical of people? Why, uh, uh, there's some weird twisted thing that I think it helps us to feel better about ourselves if we can criticize someone because it means that they're not doing as well as what we think we are. Be an encourager. I'm, I, I, I gotta get up on my desk again here, okay? Up on my desk. Be an encourager. Do it. Say it. Today's the day. All right? So as always, here's the faith connection, and I'm not making stuff up here, th- this is truth that the Bible even talks about, okay? And the Bible knows some stuff, so if the Bible says it, it's probably the thing that you need to pay attention to. Here's the faith connection. Boy, I'm fired up today. All right, here we go. There's a man in the New Testament named Barnabas, and interestingly, Barnabas wasn't even his given name. His name was Joseph. The apostles called him Barnabas, which means something like son of encouragement. Think about the kind of life someone must live for people to basically rename him, "Hey, that's the encouraging guy." That's a pretty good reputation, and Barnabas lived up to it. When Saul became Paul, people were understandably afraid of him. This was a man who had persecuted Christians. Paul said he'd changed, but the disciples weren't exactly lining up to invite him over for dinner, okay? But Barnabas stepped in. He vouched for Paul. He saw what God was doing in him when other people could only see what he had been. Later, when another man named John Mark failed and Paul didn't want to take him on another journey, guess what? Barnabas gave Mark another chance. Do you see the pattern? Barnabas saw potential in people, especially when other people had doubts. And think about the ripple. Saul became Paul. Mark eventually wrote the Gospel of Mark. Barnabas wasn't the only famous person in either story, but imagine those stories without him. Sometimes your greatest influence isn't what you accomplish, it's what your encouragement helps someone else become. So let me ask you something. Who are you proud of but haven't told? Who is growing and needs someone to notice? Who is doing something difficult right now? Who do you admire? Who makes your life better? Who needs courage? And here's another question. When you think something good about somebody, how often does it actually leave your mouth? Because thinking encouragement isn't the same as giving it Now it's time for our flame challenge. This week's flame challenge is actually really simple. Here it is. Say the good thing. Choose three people and give each of them one specific piece of encouragement. Not generic, specific. Tell them what you see. Tell them why it matters. And here's the rule: don't add anything after it. No. Okay? Don't do it. Say, "You're doing..." Don't do the, "You're, you're doing a great job, but..." No. Okay? You just took the gift back when you did that. Give them the encouragement and let it sit there. Three people, three specific things, and pay attention to what happens, not just in them, in you. Because the more you practice seeing what's good in people, the more good you start seeing. And let me tell you, okay, it's kinda like if you ever bought a vehicle before and you've never seen your vehicle in the past, but all of a sudden, as soon as you bought that vehicle, everybody's got the same vehicle. The same thing's true with this. If you start seeing the good in people, guess what? All of a sudden, you're gonna start seeing the good in people on a broader scale. If you wanna criticize, guess what? You'll find plenty of things to criticize. It's about a mind shift and saying, "Guess what? There is good in people, and I wanna see the good in people, and I wanna encourage people, and I wanna lift them up, and I wanna give them an opportunity to be their very best." All right. So in closing, if I ever get there, you may never know what words become in somebody else's life. That employee you encouraged may eventually become a leader who encourages hundreds of others. That child you keep reminding of who they are may carry those words into adulthood. That friend who's struggling may repeat your words to themselves tomorrow morning when they think things are heavy again. You don't know. That's the beautiful thing about encouragement. We give it away, and we lose control of where it travels. So don't underestimate your words. Don't manufacture them. Don't flatter. Don't say things you don't mean. But when you say something good, you say it. When you see courage, you name it. When you see growth, you celebrate it. When you see someone becoming, remind them, because sometimes people borrow our belief in them until their own belief catches up. And that's one of the simplest ways we pass the flame. So here's our legacy minute. I want you to imagine something. Once again, years from now, someone is telling a story about you, and they say, "I don't think they ever know how much their words mattered to me." What words do you hope they're talking about? Words of criticism? Probably not. Words of belief, hope, truth, encouragement. You have the opportunity to put words into people today that may outlive you. Choose them well, and don't leave the good ones unsaid. Pass the flame. The reason why I'm doing this Pilot Light is the fact this is a way for not only my kids, my grandkids, and generations after me to hear their grandpa, great-grandpa, whoever, wherever I'm at in the line, speaking these kind of words, speaking words of truth, speaking words of encouragement, speaking words about passing the flame. I want that to be my legacy. I want that to be something that's spoken about me from generations from now to go, "You know what? That Josh Prigmore that was my great-great-grandpa, I can still hear his words today," and he'd say, "Encourage." Stand up on the r- on that desk and he would say, "Encourage." That's the, that's the hope that I have. That's my, that's my hope in this Pilot Light, and I hope that it passes on to you as well, that all of a sudden it wakes something up in you that you realize that you have a legacy that you're building right now. Not at the end of your life, right now. Like I said in a past episode, it happens before lunch. Your legacy happens before lunch. So, what are we building? What is it the thing that we want to be able to share with our kids and our grandkids and the people around us so that we can be of an encouragement to them? 'Cause let me tell you, it's not fun being around a criticizer, right? But how often do we do that? So let's be encouragers. And I'm not talking about fake, false encouragement. I'm talking about let's recognize what's in people. So that means we have to notice them. We have to get off our phones. We have to get off, away from our TVs. We have to get away from the things that trap our minds in these endless cycles of things, and actually look at people and notice things about them, and then encourage them. Ooh, this is gonna be a long episode if I don't stop here. All right. So here, before you go, here's the thing. I wanna hear from you. I honestly do. One of the things I want to do differently, and I've said this the last couple episodes, is I wanna make Pilot Light, less of a one-way conversation. So I want you to tell me your story. I'm serious about this. Tell me who lit your pilot light. Tell me about a time someone believed in you, encouraged you, gave you that courage, or showed up when you needed it. Or tell me how you're passing the flame onto somebody else, 'cause that's the whole goal of this, is to pass on the flame. So you don't have to write anything profound. I don't need flowery words or anything else. Just tell me what happened, because throughout this season, I honestly wanna share some of your stories right here on the podcast because this... I wanna create a movement of people who are encouraging others, that are passing the flame. And so you can send me that through my fan mail link in the episode description or mypilotlight.com. And then also while you're there, if Pilot Light has meant something to you, which I hope it has, would you do two more things? Share the episode with somebody else, and then take a minute just to rate the podcast on whatever app or, or site that you're listening on, okay? Those small things make a huge difference, and it's bigger than you realize. So they help more people discover what these conversations are about. And my whole goal is not to grow this thing in a huge, massive way. It literally is just to start the ripple effect of people being a positive influence, sharing the gospel message of what the truth of the Bible is about, and, and, and making an impact on their local communities. That's it. That's what I wanna see happen. You're the pilot light. You're the person passing the flame. So the more people we can get that discover, the better. So most importantly, like I said, I wanna hear from you because this season isn't just about my stories. It's about ours. So tell me yours, and let's keep passing the flame. So thanks for spending time with me today. I know it was probably a long one, and I got a little fiery on that one, and, uh, sometimes that's gonna happen on this, and I'm... hopefully I'm not blowing out my microphone on this. But remember this week, if you see something good in somebody, don't make them guess. Say it. Put a little courage into somebody. You may have no idea how badly they need it. So see farther, live deeper, become who you were created to be, and pass the flame. You were created to be a fire, not just a flicker. So keep the pilot light on, and I will see you next time