I want you to think of somebody, okay? Now, don't overthink it. No, this is not some magic trick, okay? Just let a person come to mind, someone who changed your life, okay? Maybe they believed in you before you believed in yourself. Maybe they gave you an opportunity. Maybe they said something at exactly the right time, or maybe they noticed something in you that everybody else has missed, or maybe they just simply showed up during a season when you needed somebody. Okay. You got them? You got, you got 'em in your brain, right? Okay. Now, here's my question: Do they know? Do they know that conversation mattered? Do they know you still remember what they said? Do they know that something they did years ago is still affecting the way that you live today? Because I've been thinking about this, and I'm becoming convinced that some of the most important moments of our lives probably didn't feel important when they happened, okay? There was no dramatic music playing in the background, okay? Just kind of imagine that for a moment, okay? You're... You have this moment that's happening that's supposed to be huge, okay? It's Lord of the Rings, this giant orchestra behind you, and you're, like, getting ready to go in there, okay? Nobody said, "Josh, pay attention. This moment is going to shape the next 30 years of your life," okay? It probably was just a Tuesday, a conversation in a hallway, a teacher staying after class, a coach putting a hand on your shoulder saying, "Good job," or a boss giving you a chance, or a friend calling you at the right time, or maybe it was a parent doing something over and over again that you didn't appreciate until you became one yourself. Ordinary moments, extraordinary impact. And here's the part that I don't want us to miss today, okay? You are probably doing the same thing in somebody else's life right now. You just don't know it yet, and that's what I wanna talk to you about today. Welcome to Pilot Light. I am your host, Josh, and this season we are talking about what happens when the fire inside of us stops being only about us. You know, season one was all about identity. Who am I? What do I believe? What's been holding me back? Who was I created to become? And season two asks the next question, okay, what do I do with the person I'm becoming? Because eventually, growth has to move outward. Eventually, the flame gets passed. So wherever you are listening from, whether you're heading to work or maybe you're sitting in the school pickup line wondering why a process involving children getting into cars somehow requires the logistical planning of a military operation. I don't fully understand all that. But anyway, maybe you're walking through the house and you're turning off all the lights because apparently you've been promoted to chief electricity officer. Or finally, maybe you're just drinking coffee while you're waiting for your personality to fully load. Guess what? I am so glad you're here. Let's light the pilot light You know, I've been thinking lately about the people who have influenced me, and the older I get, the more interesting that list becomes. Because when you're younger, you tend to think influence comes from the obvious people, right? Parents, teachers, pastors, coaches. You know, of course, those people can have an enormous influence. But honestly, when I look back across my life, some of the people who shaped me probably had absolutely no idea they were doing it. There were people who believed in me, people who trusted me with responsibility, people who challenged me, people who gave me opportunities before I felt completely ready for them, people who modeled things I wanted to carry into my own life. And there were probably moments that seemed insignificant to them that became landmarks for me. You know, that's kind of fascinating, isn't it? One person's ordinary Tuesday can become another person's lifelong memory. Here's a personal story I want to share with you. I, you know, I've already talked about some of my divorce and some of the challenges that I faced, uh, a long time ago. But I remember there was a period of time and, and I was pastoring a church locally, and, um, my family was literally falling apart. Uh, my marriage was ending. Things were not good. And I knew at that moment that I should not be pastoring in that, because you cannot give out of an empty, broken vessel in that moment, okay? There's, there's times where you have to just pause, and you've got to get yourself figured out and fixed. And I remember in that moment, things were just not good. The church was not going well and, and, uh, you know, because I can't lead well if, um, you know, I'm-- can't lead my home in that moment. And I remember as, as things were kind of crumbling, and I had kind of made my announcement that I was leaving the church, and I had a family that was in my church that approached me after one of the services. And, uh, they said, "Hey, you know, are you, are you interested in a job?" And I thought, "Okay. Well, I have no idea. I have nothing else planned." I remember thinking, "Okay, I'm no longer gonna be a pastor," which that becomes a really strong identity. That's a whole other episode in it- of itself, but that kind of becomes your identity and, uh, which I've learned a lot from that. That's a whole other thing, like I said. But in that moment, I was asked if I wanted a job, and I said, "Sure, let's, let's take a look at this." And so I remember I went to the interview, and I was not the most qualified for that position, just hands down. I knew, uh, you know, I'd gone to business school. I had, I had knew stuff, but in that position, it was an industry that I had no familiarity with, had no clue whatsoever, and I was coming in as green as green gets with no knowledge, but I got hired, and it was all because Dr. Brian Roberts believed in me. Him and Amy thought, "You know what?" He would be perfect for our office. And even if it was for just a short period of time, in fact, originally it was just for a short period of time. They were just honestly rescuing me in that moment. And I remember Dr. Roberts talked to Dr. Ash, and, uh, just so you know, I used to work at Ash and Roberts, and now it's Roberts Wellness Dental. But he talked to Dr. Ash, and he agreed, and he was excited to see the, the Dr. Roberts really leading out in this and, and having the confidence in me. And so they hired me, and I started out in this financial position at the office. And it was funny because that position and, and as I started that, and like I said, I knew nothing. I knew nothing about dentistry whatsoever. I was frightened to death when I started out there. And, uh, and, and literally I walked through a divorce in the middle of starting that job, and that place loved on me and encouraged me and allowed me the freedom that I needed in those moments and as I became a single dad and, and that place was remarkable and has such amazing memories and fantastic people that have worked there over the years But what I want to kind of address in that is in that moment, Dr. Roberts gave me an opportunity, and it changed my life. It literally changed my life. And not only that, but it also fit in with a thing that God shared with me years later, because I started out in that role, but later on, I moved up into managing the entire office. Okay, imagine that for a moment, okay? Here's this guy who knows nothing about dentistry that all of a sudden is managing, managing the place. I don't know what they were thinking, but, um, thank you for the confidence that you guys gave in me. But here in that moment, I remember when I was in high school, and I... You know, you fill out these things when you're graduating, like, "I'm gonna be this in so many years," whatsoever. And God reminded me of this because there was a time in my life where I wanted to be a dentist. I was fascinated by that. I have lots of dental work and a lot of orthodontics growing up, okay? This, this was a brace face for a period of time. But I was fascinated by it, and I thought it would be a cool p- you know, profession. And so that was something that I thought of. Also thought about business too. And so in my little thing for graduating, I put on there, "In 20 years or 30 years," whatever it said, "I will be either a successful dentist or a businessman." And I remember God reminding me of that after I got into the role of managing the office, and He showed me that. He goes, "You know what? We don't lose opportunities." You know, nothing is wasted in, in His economy. Because He reminded me, He goes, "Not only did I remember that, but I fulfilled both of those things at the same time because you ended up becoming the businessman for the dentist." And I am always been amazed by that, that God could take brokenness and that use somebody else to open the door so that we could walk into where we need to be. And honestly, I would say that this podcast, I can thank Dr. Brian and Amy Roberts and Dr. Steve and Candace Ash because of what they poured into me and helped this broken little puppy come back to life. And it was because of their encouragement and obviously their faith and their challenging and the things that they allowed me to be able to do to be able to sit in this spot right now and literally be able to share that. And so I'm gonna publicly say thank you to both of them for what they have meant in my life. And also those who walked through the challenging times that I went through during that moment. All those people, all the, the hygienists, the assistants, uh, front office that were amazing during that period of time, I just want to thank them because they were important on there. And so that's why a lot of times we don't understand the, the moment. Like I said, it could've been a Tuesday when I had that interview that changed my life, 'cause I was there for 18 years. What was supposed to be just temporary, I was there for 18 years. So here's what I've started to realize because of that. We tend to measure influence incorrectly. We measure it by response. Okay? Did they thank me? Did they listen? Did they change? Did they notice? Did they, you know, did it, my advice work for them? Did anybody tell me that I made a difference? And when we don't see that response, we assume that there was not an impact. But that's not how influence works. A seed doesn't give you immediate feedback. You put it in the ground, and for a while, nothing. I can tell you this right now. When I took that job, and I was scared to death, knew nothing, had no understanding whatsoever about teeth and the surfaces and, and billing and all that kind of stuff, and let me tell you, it's complicated things and, and so... But in that moment, they didn't know it was gonna pan out. I didn't know it was gonna pan out. There was a season of nothing And yet it ended up being where they are some of my favorite people in the world at a job that really blessed me. But see, here's the thing, you can't see what's happening underneath. You don't know whether anything is changing, but hidden doesn't mean inactive. And I wonder how many times we've planted something good in another person, then walked away believing it didn't matter because we weren't around when it finally grew. So here's my big idea for the day: You will rarely know the full impact of the life you're living. Okay, that's both humbling, but it's also really encouraging because it means that you don't need a platform to have influence. You don't need thousands of followers. You don't need a microphone. You don't need a title. You don't need people quoting you. You don't even need to know that you're making a difference. You just need to live faithfully in the places where you have been planted. Dr. Roberts, in that moment, he didn't know what that would mean to him. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know about me writing that in my annual or, or that little piece of paper there where we thought about the years ahead. He didn't know any of those things. He just was listening to the voice of God in that moment, and he just felt like he was doing the right thing. And he never knew the impact that that was gonna have, not only on me, but on my family, my kids. So I love those people They are, they are some of my favorite people in the world, and they will always be. Even though I moved on to a different job, they still are some of my absolute favorite people in the world, and I hope they know that, and if you're listening, thank you. So we just need to live faithfully in the places where we've been planted. Influence is happening all the time. The question is, what kind? Okay. All right, first point today, we remember people who saw something in us. There are certain sentences we carry for decades. "You can do this." "I'm proud of you." "I trust you." "You are better than this." "I see something in you." Or, "Don't quit." Sometimes one sentence becomes a handrail. Sometimes we grab onto it when everything else feels uncertain. And here's what's interesting. The person saying it may forget the conversation by dinner, but the person hearing it may remember it for the rest of their life. That's why words matter. Not because we need to walk around trying to say profound things all day long, okay? Pl- please don't do that. Nobody wants to have lunch with a person who speaks exclusively in motivational posters. But we should pay attention. When you see courage in somebody, I want you to say it. When you see growth, say it. When somebody does something well, say it. When you appreciate someone, tell them. Don't make people attend your funeral to discover what you thought was wonderful about them. Tell them while they can hear you. Here's my second point. Your example is speaking when you aren't. Some of the strongest influence in our lives never comes through words. It comes through observation. I think about this more and more. People are watching how we live, okay? Not in a creepy way, hopefully, right? But our kids are noticing things. Our coworkers notice things. Our friends notice things. They see how we treat people who can't do anything for us. They see whether our private behavior matches our public values. They see how we respond when plans change. They see what happens when we're wrong. They see whether we apologize. They see how we treat our spouse. They see whether our faith changes anything about Monday morning. And we may never know that they're paying attention. That's what makes example so powerful. You don't have to announce it. You just simply live it. I think sometimes we put enormous pressure on ourselves to have the perfect words when the most powerful thing we can give somebody is a life that matches what we say. So here's my third point. Don't disqualify the small moment. You know, we love big gestures, right? They are easy to recognize, but most influence happens in moments too small to post about. It's the employee you stop and ask, "Hey, how are you really doing?" And then actually waiting for the answer. It's sitting beside somebody who's hurting without trying to fix them. It's remembering somebody's name. It's noticing the person standing by themselves. It's telling your kid, "Hey, put your shoes on." And then five minutes later, "Seriously, shoes." Then somehow, 15 minutes later, you're standing by the door wondering how someone can lose their shoes while still being inside the same house. Okay, maybe that one's not legacy, but you get the point. Life happens in ordinary moments, and so does influence. So never assume small means insignificant. Here's our faith connection. There's a moment in scripture that I love because it's... Honestly, it's really simple. A man named Andrew meets Jesus, and then what does Andrew do? He goes and finds his brother Simon. That's it, okay? Andrew meets Jesus. Andrew leaves, goes, finds his brother Simon. He basically says, "Hey, dude, Simon, you gotta meet this guy." And Simon comes, and Simon eventually becomes Peter, and Peter becomes one of the central figures in the early church. Think about that chain. Andrew brings Peter. Peter influences thousands. Thousands influence others. Generations later, we are still talking about it. Andrew couldn't possibly have understood what that invitation would become. He simply brought the person in front of him to Jesus. That's influence. Faithfulness with what's in front of you and trusting God with what happens next. We don't always get to see the ripple, but guess what? God does. So let me bring this back to you. Who saw something in you? Who encouraged you? Who opened a door? Who stayed? Who told you the truth when you needed it? Who modeled something that you now carry? And maybe even a harder question is, have you told them? Because sometimes we assume that people just know, but guess what? They don't. Your parents may not know. Your former teacher may not know. Your old boss may not know. Your friend may not know. That coach may have coached hundreds of people since you. They may have absolutely no idea that something they said 20 years ago is still traveling with you. Why keep that to yourself? So here's my challenge. This is, this is our flame challenge. Last week I in- introduced this. One person, one intentional act of encouragement this week. We're going backward before we go forward here, okay? I want you to identify one person who helped light your pilot light. Then I want you to tell them. Don't just think about them. Don't tell yourself you'll do it someday. I want you to reach out. I want you to call them. I want you to text them. I want you to write a letter. I want you to buy a coffee. I want you to do something. And don't just say, "Hey, thanks for everything." I want you to be specific. Tell them what they did. Tell them what you remember. Tell them how it affected you, and Tell them what their investment became. Something like, "You know what? You probably don't remember this, but years ago you said something to me that I've never forgotten." And then tell the story. If they're no longer alive, I want you to write it anyway. Write the letter. Say what you wish you could have said. Then ask yourself, "How can I become that person for somebody else?" You know what? I think we're gonna be surprised someday. I really do. I think we're going to discover conversations mattered that we barely even remember. People were encouraged when we thought we were just simply talking. Someone kept going because we noticed them. Someone believed in themselves because we believed first. Someone became a better parent, or a better leader, or a friend, or a spouse, or a follower of Jesus partly because they watched us try to live faithfully. Not perfectly, faithfully. And maybe we'll never see most of it on this side of eternity, but I'm learning to be okay with that because maybe influence was never supposed to be something we counted. Maybe it was something we gave away. So keep showing up. Keep encouraging. Keep telling the truth. Keep loving people. Keep doing the right thing when nobody seems to notice, because somebody probably does. And the people who changed your life probably didn't know they were changing it either. So here's our legacy minute for today. One day, someone will tell stories about you. Okay? That's not morbid, that's reality. And I've been thinking about what I hope those stories sound like. Not, "Wow, he accomplished a lot," or, "He was really busy," or, "He was successful." But I hope somebody says, "He believed in me. He made room for me. He saw something in me I couldn't see yet. He showed me what faithfulness looks like. He helped me become better." That's a legacy worth leaving. You don't build it someday. You build it right now in conversations you may not even remember. So pass the flame. You know what? Thanks for spending this time with me today. And this week, don't let that person stay only in your memory. Tell them. Tell them what they meant to you. Tell them what they helped create. Give them the gift of knowing that their life mattered. And then go be that person for somebody else because you may never know how far one small flame can travel. So see farther, live deeper. Become who you were created to be and pass the flame. You were created to be a fire, not just a flicker. So keep the light on, and I will see you next time. Hey, before you go, I want to hear from you. One of the things I want to do differently this season is to make Pilot Light less of a one-way conversation. So I want you to tell me your story. Tell me who lit your pilot light. Tell me about a time somebody believed in you, encouraged you, or showed you when you needed it. Or tell me how you're passing the flame onto somebody else. You don't have to write anything profound. Just tell me what happened, because throughout this season, I wanna share some of your stories right here on the podcast. You can send yours to me directly through the fan mail link in the episode description. And while you're there, if Pilot Light has meant something to you, would you do two more things? First of all, share this episode with one person who might need it, and then take a minute to rate the show on the podcast app that you're listening on. Those small things make a bigger difference than you realize. They help more people discover these conversations, and then they can become part of what we're building here. But most importantly, I want to hear from you, because this season isn't just about my stories, it's about ours. So tell me yours, and let's keep passing the flame.